Every now and then, a question pops up that makes you question your understanding of even the most basic things. Is water wet?
Like, wait what? What do you mean by “Is water wet”? Of course it’s wet. Its water.
But just when you thought your sanity was intact, someone like me comes around to break the news that WATER ISN’T WET. And obviously, by that, I mean, WATER ISN’T WET.
Now, this may come as news to most of you, but I assure you, it’s true! In fact, it would take more argument to convince someone that water is wet than that it isn’t wet. We have become so accustomed to objects being wet with water that we’ve given the molecule (H2O) the characteristic.
Let’s look at the definitions of “wet” to understand why this is.
Here is where I get out of my comfort zone. I really loved science and math classes in school. And that’s what I’m in college for now. And while English wasn’t my best subject in school, it was definitely....my worst. But needless to fear for I’ve got my wife who is currently taking her English composition in college, my mother who is an English teacher, and one of the best teachers in the world...Google...to help me along with rather simple English grammar. But, if what you read is not necessarily up to par grammar-wise, well, you’ve been warned.
Wet as an adjective
Merriam-Webster (MW) describes wet as an adjective in this way:
Wet: consisting of, containing, covered with, or soaked with liquid (such as water)
Hmm...look at this closely. An adjective is used to describe something. Such as in the sentence, “a cute puppy”, the adjective would be cute. So looking at MW’s definition of “wet” as an adjective, it is clear that it is supposed to be used to describe the state of something.
Just think about anything you call wet:
A “wet floor” is a section of the floor consisting of water over the top. It is also is the spot where most insurance scams take place...but that’s unrelated.
A “wet towel” is a towel that has been soaked with a liquid (most likely water).
A “wet day” is where the weather is rainy, or, a day that the outside is covered with water.
As you can see, it’s not that it is the water that is wet, but rather it is the something that has the presence of water on/in it.
Let's think about it in other terms….fire.
If you think about it, what happens when you apply fire to something? That something becomes burned. But you wouldn’t describe fire as burn. You might say that fire burns, but fire itself is not burn.
The same thing goes with water. Water wets things, but the water itself is not wet.
Wet as a noun
This is where water comes the closest to being described as wet. A noun is a person, place, or thing (Citation: my second-grade teacher). So to describe wet as a noun would give the word some sort of physical body. This would come in the form of any liquid.
Take the following sentence for example:
The dog shook the wet from its coat.
We can take this sentence and assume that “the wet” is water. This would make sense to our minds. I mean look at a dog that shakes the wet off its coat and you will see water fly everywhere. But does this mean that water is wet?
No.
Water is the wet but is not wet. The wet is whatever liquid was on that dog’s coat. Though water is the most obvious liquid to think of on a dog’s coat, it isn’t the only liquid that can be present on a dog. Whatever liquid it was, was making the dog’s coat wet. So this liquid would be described as “the wet”, but the liquid itself wouldn’t be wet.
Stick with me.
Wet as a verb
This one has to be the simplest one. Verb, it's what you do(Citation: thank you 2000’s nickelodeon). Wet as a verb means to become or to make something else wet. So applying a liquid to something else makes that something wet, but the liquid itself isn’t wet. We’ve been over this. Pretty simple.
So what does this mean?
Not really a whole lot actually. It not much more than Inigo Montoya uttering his second-best line, “I don’t think that word means what you think it means”.
As you can see, water, by definition, is not wet. It only makes other things wet. In fact, no liquid is wet! But that brings up questions. Can one liquid make another liquid wet? What about the solid form of the molecule, can that be wet? Those are questions for another time!
Now you know a fun little science fact! Use it as a party trick or to be the “actually,...” person at your next family get-together (I wouldn’t recommend it). I could dive deeper. I could tell you some things can be wetter than others, while other things can’t be wet at all. But I’m going to stop before I completely blow your minds. One step at a time. Any further and that would be...well...inconceivable.
Stay salty.
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